So I have been gone forever and here let me update my life. 

I feel like a huge waste of space.

My eyes often fly open around 7 a.m. The voices that carry through my house are that of my mothers, loud and preparing for work. I toss and I turn, hearing the creaks of the floor she scattered on, the slams and opens of all the doors. Somewhere between the sounds and the view of the pale grey morning on my ceiling, I roll off into sleep.

My eyes usually peek open around 10 a.m. The sun is spilling through the cracks of my blinds, my ears filled with the noises of children running wild outside. Though I know for a fact I’ll never fall back into rest, I continue to cover my face from the day.

My mind is a wasteland empty and hallow. I see in different directions all my thoughts. None of them are interesting to me, I stay grey with my imagination.

I am drained and just waking up.

Time to drag by for another day.

You often dream of leaving

Of going some where far from here

some where that you’d like to call home

A place to be free

You often dream of falling inlove

with a people so warm and open

with smiles that go forever

and eyes that shine for days

You often dream of leaving

Of going some where far from here

but those days are far away

so

keep dreaming

It leaves me so desperate, and ravenous, so weak and powerless.